My dad, James William Fletcher, is known by his family and friends for his knowledge of Scripture and knack for writing poetry. Those two strengths converged on the wedding day of my son Elijah and his beautiful bride Natalie. They had asked my dad (Elijah’s grandfather, a.k.a. “Pepaw”) to deliver the charge to the bride and groom, but they did not know until during the actual ceremony that my dad had prepared the entire charge as a poem.
Although written specifically for Elijah and Natalie, this charge can benefit all married couples who will take its biblical principles to heart and put them into practice. For this reason I have posted here my father’s charge for your encouragement.
Elijah and Natalie, thank you for having me
Speak at your wedding today.
It will be my great pleasure, and something I’ll treasure
The rest of my natural days.
But I do have to ask: Am I up to the task?
‘Cause I’ve never done this before;
So you might be nervous this part of the service,
You really don’t know what’s in store.
Like, what if I’m boring? Those folks will be snoring,
You don’t want them falling asleep;
The rhyme’s for your sake, just to keep ‘em them awake,
And you’ll get a copy to keep.
Despite the fun format, I want to be sure that
You know it’s a serious time;
The vows you’ll be taking, the commitment you’re making,
Will be in God’s presence divine.
My principal function is giving instruction,
But not in the wisdom of men.
For truth that’s inviolable, look in the Bible,
And that’s where my charge will begin.
I’ll deal unilat’rally, starting with Natalie;
Not ‘cause she’s a beautiful belle;
I’m observing the order the apostles accord her,
In Ephesians, First Peter, as well.
What a blessed condition to be in submission
To your husband as unto the Lord!
Our culture rejects it, but Jesus expects it,
And pleasing Him yields its reward.
You see, Paul in Ephesians states clearly the reason:
The husband is head of the wife;
Even as Christ is the head of the church,
For He is her Savior and Life.
Your adorning should not be just outward each morning--
Cosmetics and the aesthetics of hair;
Not overly caring about what you’re wearing,
There’s no lasting value in there.
But do as God’s bidden, let it be the hidden
Person within, free of vice,
Even the gem of a meek, quiet spirit,
In the sight of our Lord of great price.
To grandson Elijah, it just might surprise ya,
That you are not getting off free.
In fact, I’ll be tougher - and probably rougher -
Than you thought your Pepaw could be!
Don’t make her submission your lifelong ambition--
It’s not about power or force;
It means in God’s wisdom and marital dictum,
That you ride in front on the horse.
First off, you’re to love her, above every other,
Yes, love her as Christ loved the church;
He gave Himself for her—that’s really important.
Do likewise: put Natalie first.
At home be the leader, and spiritually feed her,
Put her needs ahead of your own;
Remember she’s special, and life’s weaker vessel,
And she is the heart of the home.
Listen intently, and handle her gently;
Attend to her ‘motional needs,
Always protect her, and never neglect her,
For that’s how a husband succeeds.
Well, I’m already tired, and my time has expired;
So I better be winding it down;
But here is the gist, and I’ll leave you with this,
To keep you on rock solid ground:
Just love one another; and pray for the other,
Surrender to each in the Lord;
Give each other space, and do it with grace.
That’ll strengthen, it’ll lengthen love’s cord.
October 12th, 2019
James W. Fletcher
Grandfather of the Groom