Insidious. Folks see that word, and the first thing they think of is the popular horror flick that's been around a few years. In fact, the third installment is now in theaters (not that I'm recommending you go see it!).
Insidious. Interesting word. It's an adjective that means "proceeding in a gradual, subtle way, but with harmful effects."
What comes to my mind when I think of that word is not a horror film, but hurtful speech - namely gossip. In his book, Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate, Jerry Bridges defines gossip as "the spreading influence of unfavorable information about someone else, even if that information is true."
Many professing Christians are guilty of murder, having assassinated the reputation of another person. Or at the very least they have called their character into question by innuendo. Read your Bible, and you will see that where Scripture talks about "grieving the Holy Spirit" (Eph. 4:30) and "stifling the Holy Spirit (1 Thess. 5:19), the surrounding context always has to do with sinful attitudes and speech. (To see other verses on the subject of gossip, click here.)
Insidious. Interesting word. It's an adjective that means "proceeding in a gradual, subtle way, but with harmful effects."
What comes to my mind when I think of that word is not a horror film, but hurtful speech - namely gossip. In his book, Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate, Jerry Bridges defines gossip as "the spreading influence of unfavorable information about someone else, even if that information is true."
Gossip is the spreading of unfavorable information
about someone else, even if that information is true.
A main motive behind gossip is to make ourselves look good by making another person look bad. We can even mask gossip by passing along the information as a "prayer request."
Bridges points out, "Closely related to the sin of gossip is the sin of slander. Slander is making a false statement or misrepresentation about another person that defames or damages the person's reputation."
Slander is making a false statement
or misrepresentation about another person
that defames or damages the person's reputation.
Political campaigns are notorious for slandering opponents by taking certain statements out of context or using sly innuendos. The same sort of thing happens in business in order to gain an advantage over the competition. Sometimes the competition is another business; often it is another colleague in the same corporation.
I wish I could say that this sort of back-stabbing, critical speech, negative talk, etc., occurs only "out there" in the secular world, but unfortunately it happens all too often in Christian circles. As Jerry Bridges notes, "In a Christian organization or a church, we can seek to gain an advantage over someone else by slandering that person." As one who has been in a local church and Christian School environment for most of my life, I have seen negative talk wreak more havoc than anything else in the body of Christ.
"How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell" (James 3:5-6). While some people are clearly malicious gossips and slanderers, others are simply busy-bodies who like to be "in the know" and pass on what they do know (or think they know). They think passing on information about someone else isn't that big of a deal, that it doesn't make all that much of a difference. But the following video clip from the movie Doubt illustrates otherwise.
Many professing Christians are guilty of murder, having assassinated the reputation of another person. Or at the very least they have called their character into question by innuendo. Read your Bible, and you will see that where Scripture talks about "grieving the Holy Spirit" (Eph. 4:30) and "stifling the Holy Spirit (1 Thess. 5:19), the surrounding context always has to do with sinful attitudes and speech. (To see other verses on the subject of gossip, click here.)
Yet these are the very sins that are allowed to go unchecked in the body of Christ and in our individual lives as believers.
Nevertheless, God says we are to have a "zero tolerance" policy when it comes to gossip, slander, and other sinful speech.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God....
- Ephesians 4:29, 30
To grieve "to make sorrowful." We have to remember that the Holy Spirit is a person, not just a power or influence. Would you want to hang out with someone who constantly makes you feel sad or sorrowful?
To quote Bridges again,
So what can we do to change course? How can we create a culture of encouragement without our sphere of influence?
1. Pray about it.
Confess your sins of speech to God. Tell the Holy Spirit how sorry you are for grieving him. Ask him to fill you with his empowering presence. Express your desire to please him, as David did in Psalm 19:14: "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."
2. Process your thoughts.
"Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a a fool than for him" (Prov. 29:20). No wonder Scripture says, "Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger" (James 1:19). Learn to think before you speak. Develop the habit of asking yourself three questions before passing on information about someone else?
3. Promote positive speech.
To quote Bridges again,
We not only sin in our speech about one another but we also sin when talking to one another. This sinful speech includes harsh words, sarcasm, insults, and ridicule. The common denominator of all these forms of negative speech is that they tend to put down, humiliate, or hurt the other person.Yet Scripture says that we are to speak only those things that are "good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear" (Eph. 4:29).
So what can we do to change course? How can we create a culture of encouragement without our sphere of influence?
1. Pray about it.
Confess your sins of speech to God. Tell the Holy Spirit how sorry you are for grieving him. Ask him to fill you with his empowering presence. Express your desire to please him, as David did in Psalm 19:14: "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."
2. Process your thoughts.
"Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a a fool than for him" (Prov. 29:20). No wonder Scripture says, "Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger" (James 1:19). Learn to think before you speak. Develop the habit of asking yourself three questions before passing on information about someone else?
- Is it true? Don't answer that question too quickly. Are you sure you have your facts straight and aren't making assumptions? Are you embellishing the facts or putting your spin on things?
- Is it kind? Just because something is true doesn't mean that it needs to be said. Is it truly helpful or constructive? Will it build others up? Will it administer God's grace to them in that moment?
- Is it necessary? Is the person to whom you are speaking truly part of the problem or part of the solution? Why exactly are you about to share this information with them? Does it really need to be said?
3. Promote positive speech.
Do what you can to build a culture of encouragement. Negatively, this means refusing to listen to gossip, slander, and other forms of unnecessary, negative speech. Positively, this means looking for opportunities to encourage other people, offer sincere compliments, say kind things to them and about them to others.
Just as we have no idea of the damage that destructive speech can cause, so we also can scarcely imagine the difference that an encouraging word can make in the life of another person. I leave you with these words from William Barclay:
One of the highest duties is the duty of encouragement. It is easy to laugh at men's ideals. It is easy to pour water on their enthusiasm. It is easy to discourage others. But we have a Christian duty to encourage one another. Many a time a word of praise or thanks or appreciation or cheer has kept a man on his feet. Blessed is the one who speaks such a word.