Years ago when our children were young, my wife was sitting with them in the pew while I as pastor led our church family in communion (a.k.a. the Lord's Supper). Afterwards my wife told me that our son, a pre-schooler at the time, got all upset because his older sister got to have a "snack" during the service, but he didn't.
In closing, consider the words of the 19th century bishop, J. C. Ryle:
Probably every Christian parent has experienced a similar incident at some point in a church service. This raises the question, When is it appropriate for children to participate in communion, that is, to partake of the bread and cup?
Because I have an affinity for acronyms, I am going to use them as a tool in addressing the above question. The first answer, represented by the word "CUP," represents our church's "official" stance on the issue. Children may, at the discretion of their parents, participate in communion when they have met the following criteria:
Conversion
They are able to articulate the gospel and give a credible profession of faith in Christ as their Lord and Savior.
Understanding
They understand the meaning of communion, i.e. the significance of the bread and the cup.
Personal Commitment
They are intentional about confessing sin and obeying the Lord.
When these basic conditions are met, children are allowed to participate in the Lord's Supper, so far as the church leadership is concerned.
However, I'd also like to share some additional thoughts on a personal level. This is based on my own experience as a parent and as a pastor for the last 23 years. Other good and godly parents may disagree on some points, which is fine. I simply want to provide some food for thought.
If I had the opportunity to go back and do it all over again, I would have established a little more stringent criteria for my own children. These criteria, represented by the acronym "BREAD," are what I would encourage parents to consider as guidelines for their own children:
If I had the opportunity to go back and do it all over again, I would have established a little more stringent criteria for my own children. These criteria, represented by the acronym "BREAD," are what I would encourage parents to consider as guidelines for their own children:
Baptism
Jesus commanded all his followers to be baptized as a public profession of their faith in him as Lord and Savior. Since the ordinance of baptism is no more difficult to understand than the Lord's Supper, it makes sense to have a child participate in communion only after he or she has obeyed the Lord by being baptized.
Respect
Scripture says, "whoever eats the bread and drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy way will be guilty of sin against the body and blood of the Lord" (1 Cor. 11:27). Communion is not to be taken lightly and must be treated with respect. Waiting to have our children partake of communion until they can do so reverently shows wisdom on our part as parents.
Examination
Self-examination is a key part of communion. Failure to do so results in discipline (see 1 Cor. 11:27-32). We want to make sure that our children are mature enough to conduct an honest examination of themselves.
Appreciation
As our children comprehend the significance of the Lord's Supper and undergo appropriate self-examination, they are better able to appreciate afresh the atoning sacrifice Jesus made for them. In this way they are able to celebrate the feast with sincerity and truth with the family of God (1 Cor. 5:8; 11:33).
Devotion
How do we know if our young children are truly devoted to Christ or simply wanting to please their mommy and daddy? Discerning this can be difficult, even for the best of parents. Once our children head into their teenage years, however, they begin to think and act more independently. Their level of commitment to Christ is often easier to discern at this stage in their life than during their pre-teen years.Much more could be written on this subject, but I hope these brief considerations will help you to disciple your children in a manner that seems most pleasing to the Lord. Even if your child is not yet ready to partake of the bread and cup, the communion service provides a wonderful teaching opportunity for us as parents to share with our children the gospel of Jesus Christ and the beautiful significance of communion. The same goes for baptism.
In closing, consider the words of the 19th century bishop, J. C. Ryle:
Are we in the habit of coming to the Lord's table? If so, in what frame of mind do we come? Do we draw near intelligently, humbly, and with faith? Do we understand what we are doing? Do we really feel our sinfulness and need for Christ? Do we really desire to live a Christian life, as well as profess the Christian faith? Happy is the soul who can give a satisfactory answer to these questions. Let him go forward, and persevere.May God help us as parents to put these questions first to ourselves, then to our children.