Big P, little p - what begins with P?
Parents Patiently Practice Persistent Pedagogical Prayer
Parents, the greatest influence in your child's life right now is: you. It may not feel this way, your kids may argue differently, but the fact remains that you do the primary molding in your child’s life.
The reason for this is simple: no other influence in their life is like the parent-child relationship, which is an educational relationship in which everything you do teaches your kids something. You may not sit down for a formal “lecture” time, there may be no “family meetings” to discuss important matters, but this does not mean your kids are not learning from you. Your words, actions, interactions, attitudes, presuppositions, and thought processes all shape your child’s view of the world around them and teach them how they are to live in it. God designed it this way.
Next month here at First Baptist Church, we’ll be having our annual Prayer Week, and as preparation for that I’d like each family to take a close look at how you are teaching your children about prayer.
You teach your children about prayer when you react to life’s situations.
In many bad situations we teach our kids that prayer comes only after we’re done grumbling, complaining, or gossiping (if at all). Likewise, when good things happen, prayer is relegated to a quick “praise God!” and nothing more is said. When these occasions come, we teach that prayer is secondary to our emotions and situations. Instead our actions and reactions should teach that prayer is a necessary part of our emotions and situations.
Your kids also learn about prayer when it is regularly absent, forgotten, or approached out of a sense of “ought.” If your attitude is: “let’s get this done with so we get to the stuff we really want to do,” then you are setting your kids up to see prayer as something to check off of a list, but not really necessary for daily life. Conversely, if you love to pray your kids will see, remember, and learn (even if they don’t like it or agree!).
You teach your children about prayer when you pray without them.
Do your kids see you pray by yourself? Do they see that you have a personal relationship with God that is worth your time and energy? Many kids only see their parents praying in public times (meals, church services, etc.), which is the quickest way to enroll them in the Pharisees School of Prayer and teaches them that prayer is merely a way to make people look good and holy, regardless of what their life really looks like.
You teach your children about prayer when you pray with them.
The simple act of praying regularly with your kids teaches them several, massively important lessons. You teach them that your family submits itself to a higher authority and that you are under his banner, you teach that you recognize God as the giver of every good and perfect gift, you show that fellowship with God is sweeter than the gifts he gives, and it shows that God himself is the binding force for your family – the source and glue of all that you are.
You teach your children about prayer in what you pray.
There are two issues at hand here. First, do your prayers teach your kids that prayer is just a tool to get what you want? Are they filled with phrases such as, “help me, give me, help me, give me, help me give me”? There, of course, is nothing wrong with praying, “help me” or “give me,” but are you the center of your prayers? We must be careful not to be selfish in our prayers.
A second caution would be against having dishonest prayers. If you humbly approach God in prayer, acknowledging out loud that you’re a dirty, rotten sinner who can only come to the Father through the blood of Jesus, then you teach your kids that prayer isn’t a performance. Pray what you mean; mean what you pray. Don’t pray, “God, we’re happy and thankful” in a boring tone. Do your words match your attitude? If you’ve royally messed things up, don’t pray a generic, “blah” prayer – be honest with God. This is especially important when your kids see you sin. It shows that you don’t have a casual disregard for your failures, instead it teaches them to go to the only One who has dealt with your sins through the work of his Son.
Prayer is a wonderful gift from God – we can talk to him! Love God and love to pray, and in doing so you teach your kids how, when, why, and what to pray. Remember, they will learn about prayer from you. The question is: what will they learn?