Have you ever felt down, discouraged or depressed, while not being exactly sure why? Yesterday I read an article by John Piper that a church member sent me, which helped to explain this. It's not the catch-all answer, but it's worth consideration, because it's a factor that might affect our moods more than we realize. I'm talking about our values. Here's the gist of the argument:
- Every person has desires.
- We may define a person's values as that which he desires.
- Our happiness varies in direct proportion to the achievement or realization of our greatest values.
Inevitably, the issue of what we value goes straight to the heart of self-image. To state the matter succinctly in the writer's own words, "How you feel when you look at your life will be determined by whether you see it as a true reflection of your values." If I value industry, I'll feel bad when I'm being lazy, but I'll feel good when I'm working hard and being productive.
Several more examples could be given, but by now most of you catch the drift of what Piper is saying. But I want to focus primarily on one love, one desire that encompasses every other value that is intrinsically good and wholesome, and that is love for God. Jesus identified loving God with all of our heart, soul, and mind as "the first and great commandment" (Matt. 22:38). If this is true, then everything that Jesus loves, I will love. Everything that Jesus hates, I will hate. Everything that results in Jesus' being mad, glad, or sad will result in my being mad, glad, or sad.
Let me share a very personal (and painful) illustration with you. The other night after the kids went to bed, my wife and I sat down to watch a movie that we had seen more than a decade ago. On the DVD cover we saw that this movie was characterized by "pervasive language." We didn't remember language being an issue when we watched the movie years ago; plus, we have TV Guardian, a "foul language filter" that automatically mutes out offensive language when it surfaces during a movie.
The problem is, we couldn't get the TV Guardian to work with this particular movie. But we decided to watch it anyway, since we didn't remember language being an issue. Well, the movie proved our memories wrong. Language was an issue. Vulgar words and profanities were peppered throughout the movie. I remember thinking to myself when we were less than thirty minutes into it, "Turn it off. It's not worth it. Just turn it off and go to bed. You'll be glad you did." That was my conscience speaking ... but I ignored it and kept watching.
We watched the whole movie, and afterwards we both felt very guilty. We knew better than to keep subjecting our ears to such foul language, but we did it anyway. As we got ready for bed, we acknowledged our guilt before one another and then before God. We prayed to the Lord, confessing our sin and asking His forgiveness. We thanked God for His tender mercies and long-suffering with us. Before His throne of grace, we renewed our resolve to do that which is well-pleasing to Him.
As we worked our way through our guilt, confession, repentance and renewal, we became very cognizant of something - and this is where our experience ties in to the whole concept of values. We were amazed that we didn't remember how bad the language was the first time we saw the movie, given how guilty and heartsick we felt at the present. It was then, in the midst of our guilt, that we saw God's work of grace in our lives. The fact is, we didn't remember language being an issue back then because it really wasn't an issue back then - at least so far as our own hearts were concerned. Our heightened sensitivity to such language was all owing to the grace of God in our lives. Over these many years, God has been continuing His work of sanctification in our hearts. We love Christ more now than we did back then. We desire His glory more now than we did back then. We exalt His name more now than we did back then.
In other words, our failure to uphold our values resulted in our feeling guilty and grieved. That's why, at other times, we have felt so good in talking about the Lord, praying together, or turning off an inappropriate movie or TV show. For in such cases, our conduct is consistent with our values.
This accounts for Paul's statement in 2 Cor. 5:14, "For the love of Christ controls us," as well as his lament in Romans 7: "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.... Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (vv. 15, 24, 25a). A war rages in the heart of every believer - a war between his values and his vices, which stem from the Spirit and the flesh, respectively. That's why it's so important that we let the love of Christ control us, for if we "walk in the Spirit, [we] shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh" (Gal. 5:16).
The critical question each of us should answer is: What do you value? Our guilt after the movie, despite how awful it was, also evidenced our love for Christ. The reason we feel so miserable when we sin is because we prize our Savior so highly. What about you?
- If you value possessions more than Christ, you will lay up treasures on earth instead of heaven.
- If you value the love of your spouse more than the love of Christ, you will be more interested in what you are getting out of your marriage relationship than what you are giving to it.
- If you value the affirmation of others more than that of Christ, you will be given to flattery and hypocrisy, and you will certainly be a poor witness for Christ.
- If you value "body image" over Christ, you will care more about how you look on the outside before others instead of what you look on the inside before God.
- If you value Christ more than possessions, you will be a generous, cheerful giver.
- If you value Christ more than your spouse, you will love your husband or wife unconditionally, demanding nothing in return.
- If you value Christ more than the admiration of others, you will speak the truth in love at all times, regardless of people's response.
- If you value Christ more than your physique, you will focus more on sculpting your character than your body.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
- Psalm 73:25, 26