For the last few weeks my spiritual life has been greatly enhanced by Tim Keller's book, Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God.
One feature I've appreciated about Keller's book is his emphasis on biblical, cross-focused meditation. His exposition of Psalm 1 in this regard is outstanding.
But that's not my primary emphasis for this post. Rather, I want to share how the right kind of cross-centered meditation can help us to examine ourselves, confess our sin, and experience God's forgiveness. The bulk of what appears below is a summation of chapter 13, which is titled "Free Forgiveness; Infinite Cost."
Exodus 34:6-7 says that God "maintains love to thousands, and forgives wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished." Based on the back-to-back statements in these verses, Keller rightly declares, "God is forgiving yet also is so holy that he cannot let injustice and wickedness go unpunished." How can God maintain both his holiness and love in forgiving sinners? The answer is the cross of Jesus Christ. "Because of the Cross, God can be both just toward sin and yet mercifully justifying to sinners."
This is an amazing truth! Pay attention closely now to what Keller writes:
It means that no son can now bring us into condemnation, because of Christ's atoning sacrifice. It also means that sin is so serious and grievous to God that Jesus had to die. We must recognize both of these aspects of God's grace or we will lapse into one or the other of two fatal errors. Either we will think forgiveness is easy for God to give, or we will doubt the reality and thoroughness of our pardon.
Both mistakes are spiritually deadly. To lose our grip on the costliness of forgiveness will result in a superficial, perfunctory confession that does not lead to any real change of heart. There will be no life-change. To lose our grip on the freeness of forgiveness, however, will lead to continued guilt, shame, and self-loathing. There will be no relief. Only when we see both the freeness and the cost of forgiveness will we get relief from the guilt as well as the liberation from the power of sin in our lives.
You'll have to read Keller's book to see how he expounds this principle in a compelling manner. But for the purpose of this article I want to show a quote he utilized by the 18th century evangelist George Whitefield:
God give me a deep humility,
a well-guided zeal,
a burning love
and a single eye,
and then let men or devils do their worst!
"Those four features," writes Keller, "make a good summary of the Christian life. Here is how we could turn the four features into a daily self-examination." (The following section is comprised of Keller's own words.)
Deep humility. Examination: Have I looked down on anyone? Have I been too stung by criticism? Have I felt snubbed and ignored? Consider the free grace of Jesus until I sense (a) decreasing disdain, since I am a sinner too, and (b) decreasing pain over criticism, since I should not value human approval over God's love. In light of his grace, I can let go of the need to keep up a good image--it is too great a burden and is now unnecessary. I reflect on free grace until I experience grateful, restful joy.
A well-guided zeal. Examination: Have I avoided other people or tasks that I know I should face? Have I been anxious and worried? Have I failed to be circumspect, or have I been rash and impulsive? Consider the free grace of Jesus until there is (a) no cowardly avoidance of hard things, since Jesus faced evil for me, and (b) no anxious or rash behavior, since Jesus' death proves that God cares and will watch over me. It takes pride to be anxious, and I recognize I am not wise enough to know how my life should go. I reflect on free grace until I experience calm thoughtfulness and strategic boldness.
A burning love. Examination: Have I spoken or thought unkindly of anyone? Am I justifying myself by caricaturing someone else in my mind? Have I been impatient and irritable? Have I been self-absorbed, indifferent, and inattentive to people? Consider the free grace of Jesus until there is (a) no coldness or unkindness, as I think of the sacrificial love of Christ for me, (b) no impatience, as I think of his patience with me, and (c) no indifference, as I think of how God is infinitely attentive to me. I reflect on free grace until I feel some warmth and affection.
A "single" eye. Examination: Am I doing what I do for God's glory and the good of others, or am I being driven by fears, need for approval, love of comfort and ease, need for control, hunger for acclaim and power, or the fear of other people? (Luke 12:4-5). Am I looking at anyone with envy? Am I giving in to even the first motions of sexual lust or gluttony? Am I spending my time on urgent things rather than important things because of these inordinate desires? Consider how the free grace of Jesus provides me with what I am looking for in these other things.
Keller then concludes, "Perhaps the most life-giving and crucial part of repentance is found in using the joy and benefits of the gospel to both convict and assure you at the same time."
I agree and can testify that my own time with the Lord has been greatly enhanced by Whitefield's quote as a platform for such thought-provoking questions. When we truly give ourselves to self-examination and heartfelt confession, then we experience more fully the wonder of God's forgiveness and the joy it brings.